I know, you should call me butter baby, 'cause I'm on a roll! This is my second blog of the day... I felt I should write down my hopes and fears as a record before I set foot into Arizona so that I can look back when I'm done with the year and praise God for all of the prayers He answered.
I hope (and pray)...
- I will have accountability.
- the sun will not burn my skin! I am excited for the dry heat rather than humidity I've been in for the past three years while living in Virginia. I pray that I stay hydrated and take joy in the weather that Arizona experiences
- I will be able to speak Spanish and become more proficient, I want to communicate with everyone I am surrounded by
– I will be good with my dinero. Hopefully it won’t be too difficult since I’ve been a “college student” for so long and had to be tight with my budget to remain so.
- I will get to experience living among the people I am working with
- I will focus on my Creator through every situation and trial I may face
- That our community will grow together through good times and bad and that. That I will grow myself in my faith and life as a Christian.
- I will stay healthy, I’m advocating for no more sickness!
- I will be able to invest in the community of Tucson and provide some assistance with their food attainability and nutrition knowledge
- I will be “Jill.” I will be the person God created me to be and no one else. That I will strive to be more like Jesus every day.
– I will knock on Christ’s door when I need help. That prayer will be the first thing I do.
– Live simply, however I interpret that now and interpret that when I’m finished. One of my quotes I made up long ago was based on Hebrews 12:1-2: Live simply, Live fully. Live for Him, Live like Jesus. Run for life. I intend to keep living by my motto.
– I will live in each moment. I will be joyful , sorrowful, happy, sad, and everything in between. I want to be.
– Nathan and I will be able to maintain our relationship and grow together toward God and toward each other even though we are thousands of miles apart.
– My eyes and my heart will be opened to the injustice and social inequality in the world and that I will find what God wants me to do about it. That I will be able to help His people through the gifts God has given me.
– People and relationships will always be a priority. I love building relationships and creating new ones. I don’t think it’s possible to know too many people or have “too many friends.” I try my hardest to be a good friend to all of my friends and will continue to do so with all of the new people I meet. I will also continue to be the best friend I can be to those who are back home.
– I will be able to be quiet! I know I sometimes talk too much, sometimes I need to listen! I need to listen to others cries around me and the whisper of God. Being in a relationship and being so far from Nathan has helped with that.
- I will be able to rest and really rest! I need to rest in the moment, not think about what else I am doing tomorrow or next week. I've always been a "go, go, go" person as my dad says. During undergraduate school I worked sometimes over 40 hours a week and took as many as 22 units in one quarter at the same time. During grad school, I made it to every major league baseball stadium, a slew of weddings including my sister's, marathons in more states... all while working a full time job.
- I will get back into running shape, completing my marathons with gusto rather than a sigh of relief (okay, so after 26.2 miles, even if I was in shape, I'd probably be relieved) and wince of pain (or doubling over in pain as I have since I haven't trained for the last 17)
- Tucson will be in the prayers of all my family and friends. That even those who don’t know me or where Tucson is, that they will support me in prayer as well. Even those that have stumbled upon this blog randomly or through a friend. Thank you for your prayers!
– We will be unified one day as the body of Christ. There are other religious-based volunteer groups that will be present in Tucson (Lutheran, Jesuit, etc) and I pray that we will all join together and work together to further His kingdom.
– I will be able to discern more about my vocation for the future. I know I don’t like hospitals. I like sports nutrition, working with athletes and working with people of the community who want to learn more about wellness… but what does that look like as far as a future career for me? (Oh, If you have any lead or insight especially for registered dietitians, let me know.)
– I will be welcoming of everyone regardless of their age, sex, gender, race, religion, etc. I want to love everyone as Christ loves them. To put aside the stereotypes and precognitions that I have. I always try to do this, but I pray that this is amplified this year as I serve on a mission team.
- I had to look up and “x” word… but I think I found a good one that describes me: “xenophile.” According to the free dictionary online it means: “a person attracted to that which is foreign, especially to foreign peoples, manners, or cultures.” I love the unknown, this makes me attracted to other cultures, people, food, and everything that encompasses. I pray that God continues that fire within me and uses it to His glory.
– I will not only think about those around me, but also spend time with myself, alone. I am a complete extrovert. I always score all “E” and no “I” when I take the Myers-Briggs personality test (E = extrovert and I = introvert for those who haven't taken it yet). I remember when we were a kid, they said “in order to have JOY we must put Jesus first, Others next, and then You last.” I tend to forget about myself and always say “yes” to everyone and want to help everyone… sometimes… saying “no” is saying “yes.”
– I pray I will be zealous. That I will be filled with joy and enthusiasm for what God has called me to this year. That I will walk the walk and talk the talk. That Christ will live in me and everyone will know it.
I know there will be hard times. I know there will be good times. If you didn’t notice (hopefully you at least noticed by the time you hit the word “xenophile” and the fact that I said I had to look up at “x” word… that I made my list of prayers and hopes into an alphabetized list- if you scroll up, the words that are larger or bold in each line are in alphabetical order). If you want to pray for a different thing every day of the month (perhaps taking Saturday or Sunday off since there are only 26 and not 30)… now you have a list of things I need prayer for! I didn’t write a list of “fears” because I put all of those fears I may have into positive statements for prayer instead of negative ones.
I am excited to see what God has in store in this next season, the next chapter of the life of Jill. Keep running friends and throw off everything that hinders you. Keep your eyes on Him.
- run for life
Sunday, August 29, 2010
commissioning
Buzz, buzz... my roommate's alarm was going off. I squinted at my watch through the darkness, it wasn't 8AM yet. I rolled over and clutched my stomach, it was still cramping, and sharp pains were shooting through it... I think from being sick. I wonder when or if I'll ever find out what's ailing me. I lay there in my bed with white sheets and a scratchy blanket staring at the whiteness of the ceiling. I didn't know how much time had passed before there was a knock at the door; my roommate's friend was coming to get her so they could work on what they were going to say at the church they were going to. It was now 8:30, so I got up, changed and poured some Cheerios out of the Kashi Heart to Heart bottle into my bowl, half hoping there would be some actual Kashi Heart to Heart cereal in it) along with some soy milk and a banana. Jacob, Alison and I had planned a little of what we would talk about at the church we were going to last night, I joined them at the breakfast table.
Nine o'clock rolled around and we moved to the lobby of Stony Point Center and met with Dr. Lori, the pastor of New Hempstead Presbyterian Church. We all hopped in the car and set off toward our destination. We had some time to chill out before the service. It seemed like no time had passed before the organ began and the service had started. We were in fact the message for the day. Jacob talked about passion and told his story of how he became a YAV, Alison shared about how much God loves us and that is conquers all, regardless of what tragedy may strike. I talked about being a witness and a missionary where you are and how necessary that was. I always wanted to go international, to go to the ends of the earth and reach the remote places most of my family and friends hadn't even heard of. It was nice to hear the other's stories because I hadn't heard them yet. I know we'll get to know each other over the year we're together, but we hadn't really gotten to know each other yet.
We were greeted so warmly by all of the members who were so joyful. They were a diverse congregation, but all smiling and glad to see us. It was reassuring that this is indeed what God wants me to do for the year. I had been having second thoughts after I was so certain back when I heard about Arizona and thought about national sites as an option. I knew God was calling me to the desert, I just needed to go and do it, it's difficult for me to wait once I determine God is calling me to do something. I generally just leap if I want to go cliff jumping, skydiving or some other extreme form of entertainment. I'm always the one who jumps off the bridge first to "test" it to make sure it's safe for everyone else. I guess you could say I'm a little bit of a trail blazer. Hopefully this carries over into other aspects of my life, including sharing the Gospel to those who I have been called to live among.
We were commissioned by a church that had never met us until that morning. They didn't know us from a random person on the street, but they were there for us because they knew we were a part of their family, their church family, the body of Christ. It was touching.
Tomorrow we'll depart Stony Point and go out to our respective destinations for the year. I am praying. I am thankful for all of the prayers and support we've gotten from those back home, here, and around the world. From people who don't even know us, those who love God and trust that God has called us to be a part of His work down in Arizona. I'm excited. I'm also exhausted from being sick and trying to stay awake for so many sessions and discussions... so now it's time to nap!
- run for life
Nine o'clock rolled around and we moved to the lobby of Stony Point Center and met with Dr. Lori, the pastor of New Hempstead Presbyterian Church. We all hopped in the car and set off toward our destination. We had some time to chill out before the service. It seemed like no time had passed before the organ began and the service had started. We were in fact the message for the day. Jacob talked about passion and told his story of how he became a YAV, Alison shared about how much God loves us and that is conquers all, regardless of what tragedy may strike. I talked about being a witness and a missionary where you are and how necessary that was. I always wanted to go international, to go to the ends of the earth and reach the remote places most of my family and friends hadn't even heard of. It was nice to hear the other's stories because I hadn't heard them yet. I know we'll get to know each other over the year we're together, but we hadn't really gotten to know each other yet.
We were greeted so warmly by all of the members who were so joyful. They were a diverse congregation, but all smiling and glad to see us. It was reassuring that this is indeed what God wants me to do for the year. I had been having second thoughts after I was so certain back when I heard about Arizona and thought about national sites as an option. I knew God was calling me to the desert, I just needed to go and do it, it's difficult for me to wait once I determine God is calling me to do something. I generally just leap if I want to go cliff jumping, skydiving or some other extreme form of entertainment. I'm always the one who jumps off the bridge first to "test" it to make sure it's safe for everyone else. I guess you could say I'm a little bit of a trail blazer. Hopefully this carries over into other aspects of my life, including sharing the Gospel to those who I have been called to live among.
We were commissioned by a church that had never met us until that morning. They didn't know us from a random person on the street, but they were there for us because they knew we were a part of their family, their church family, the body of Christ. It was touching.
Tomorrow we'll depart Stony Point and go out to our respective destinations for the year. I am praying. I am thankful for all of the prayers and support we've gotten from those back home, here, and around the world. From people who don't even know us, those who love God and trust that God has called us to be a part of His work down in Arizona. I'm excited. I'm also exhausted from being sick and trying to stay awake for so many sessions and discussions... so now it's time to nap!
- run for life
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
a physical challenge
Wow. I’m sick. I don’t remember the last time I was sick, I think it was perhaps 2008 in Virginia. Other than that, I’ve just had problems with allergies out there. Swallowing hurts and my throat feels like sandpaper. I’m sure my voice sounds terrible, I feel terrible. My stomach hurts too, it feels like throwing up might make me feel better at this point. Perhaps I’ve put my body through a lot of stress this summer… from finishing my master's thesis and master's degree, quitting my job, moving everything I had across the country while running 3 marathons within a month and sleeping on friend’s couches and in guest bedrooms, flying back to Tennessee and then back to California, driving up the California coast back to the bay area, meeting up with friends as much as possible, traveling to Japan, flying back to Tennessee going camping and on to New York. I don’t really have a home right now. I feel like I’m in limbo, this place that I will be living for a year until I’m done in Arizona next August.
Ironic that one of the discussions or ‘lessons’ we had today was about ‘self care.’ Honestly, I put off sleep and things to keep myself happy and safe emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually in order to say ‘yes’ to visiting other friends and fitting more into my already packed schedule. Again and again I’m reminded I need to take care of myself before I can take care of others. I feel like I always need to be reminded of this. Having Nathan around helps with that. He reminds me to chill out when I get frustrated about something and to look at the bigger picture. I suppose this year, I will (hopefully) be able to take a good look at myself, my life and where I'm at. I am hoping to discover or re-discover my gifts and figure out how I can use those to glorify God as well as honor my parents and still be able to take care of myself or have 'good self care.' I've always been an extroverted person and I love people, so a big part of 'self care' for me includes building and maintaining relationships. We shall see how this plays out over the course of the year!
Please pray that I'll get better and be able to be fully present in what is going on around me and trust in Him.
- run for life
Ironic that one of the discussions or ‘lessons’ we had today was about ‘self care.’ Honestly, I put off sleep and things to keep myself happy and safe emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually in order to say ‘yes’ to visiting other friends and fitting more into my already packed schedule. Again and again I’m reminded I need to take care of myself before I can take care of others. I feel like I always need to be reminded of this. Having Nathan around helps with that. He reminds me to chill out when I get frustrated about something and to look at the bigger picture. I suppose this year, I will (hopefully) be able to take a good look at myself, my life and where I'm at. I am hoping to discover or re-discover my gifts and figure out how I can use those to glorify God as well as honor my parents and still be able to take care of myself or have 'good self care.' I've always been an extroverted person and I love people, so a big part of 'self care' for me includes building and maintaining relationships. We shall see how this plays out over the course of the year!
Please pray that I'll get better and be able to be fully present in what is going on around me and trust in Him.
- run for life
Monday, August 23, 2010
day one.
I just flew into Charlotte, NC from Knoxville, TN. Nathan dropped me off at the airport and as silly as it may sound, I was a little tearful that I wouldn't see him much for the next year even though we're trying to sneak in weekends here and there while I'm gone. It's strange to think we met only 6 months ago. I am constantly amazed at my life when I look back and see where God was at work carefully putting His hand out to orchestrate the small details of my life. Even when I fight or turn away, He's there. Who am I to have God pay attention to any part of my life much less the most minute details each day? It's astounding.
This airport is a lot bigger than I expected it to be considering Knoxville and Richmond airports are tiny. It took me 20 minutes to walk across the airport from terminal E to B since I was on a small express flight connecting me to a larger airport (here) and I needed to go to the main terminals to fly out to La Guardia.
I'm excited for what God has in store... He's always steered me in the right direction, even though I wanted things to turn out differently or prayed for things that would have been horrid for me had God allowed those things to happen. I hope for things still, but I pray that my will be aligned more with His. Whatever He has planned for me in my life, I know that it will be good and all things work for His glory.
This week for YAV, we have orientation to the program in Stony Point, New York. Our week will be filled with various sessions including lots of paper work for the year (probably tax papers, health insurance and the like), meals, prayer and preparing for our years as missionaries.
Next Monday, August 30, I'll make my way with 5 others to Tucson, Arizona to begin orientation there. I anticipate a year of growth and stretching... even though I have an abnormally large comfort zone compared to the average person, I know there will be things happening in my life that I will struggle with. I pray that God will help me through it all. I pray that He will keep my relationships strong back home and help to create new solid relationships with those I will be living and working with. I'm excited to meet everyone at the Tucson Community Food Bank and I hope that the work God has brought me for is as beneficial to the people I will be helping as it will be to me. I pray that He will bring me closer to Him and that my friends and family will be able to tell when I return to them when it's all over.
Here's to hoping. God give me peace and help me to be more like You. To do what You have called me to do and live in the moment. Please help me to be a light to those around me and all that I interact with. Time to pack up and board the plane. Farewell to my stint as a nomad, hello to 51 weeks as a missionary. It's a new season of life, new experiences, new people, new location. One thing will remain constant regardless of where I am or who I'm with: I'll continue to trust in Him, hanging on to His word, His promise. Fully reliant on Him.
Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord. -Psalm 31:24
- run for life
This airport is a lot bigger than I expected it to be considering Knoxville and Richmond airports are tiny. It took me 20 minutes to walk across the airport from terminal E to B since I was on a small express flight connecting me to a larger airport (here) and I needed to go to the main terminals to fly out to La Guardia.
I'm excited for what God has in store... He's always steered me in the right direction, even though I wanted things to turn out differently or prayed for things that would have been horrid for me had God allowed those things to happen. I hope for things still, but I pray that my will be aligned more with His. Whatever He has planned for me in my life, I know that it will be good and all things work for His glory.
This week for YAV, we have orientation to the program in Stony Point, New York. Our week will be filled with various sessions including lots of paper work for the year (probably tax papers, health insurance and the like), meals, prayer and preparing for our years as missionaries.
Next Monday, August 30, I'll make my way with 5 others to Tucson, Arizona to begin orientation there. I anticipate a year of growth and stretching... even though I have an abnormally large comfort zone compared to the average person, I know there will be things happening in my life that I will struggle with. I pray that God will help me through it all. I pray that He will keep my relationships strong back home and help to create new solid relationships with those I will be living and working with. I'm excited to meet everyone at the Tucson Community Food Bank and I hope that the work God has brought me for is as beneficial to the people I will be helping as it will be to me. I pray that He will bring me closer to Him and that my friends and family will be able to tell when I return to them when it's all over.
Here's to hoping. God give me peace and help me to be more like You. To do what You have called me to do and live in the moment. Please help me to be a light to those around me and all that I interact with. Time to pack up and board the plane. Farewell to my stint as a nomad, hello to 51 weeks as a missionary. It's a new season of life, new experiences, new people, new location. One thing will remain constant regardless of where I am or who I'm with: I'll continue to trust in Him, hanging on to His word, His promise. Fully reliant on Him.
Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord. -Psalm 31:24
- run for life
Friday, August 6, 2010
mountains
I climbed Mount Fuji yesterday with my sister. It was intense and I am quite certain both of us got altitude sickness. We accomplished everything we wanted to accomplish and were able to make it back to the bus on time too! I was pretty excited. It's Saturday morning here (16 hours ahead of PST) so I leave tomorrow (Sunday) at 4PM.
All my stuff is packed for the year in Tucson back home. I'll be carrying my carry on suitcase, guitar, backpack, laptop and pillow. My laptop will fit into my carry on because it can zip out an extra 2 inches which fits it perfectly. So basically I can carry everything I'm bringing with me for the year. Kind of like when I went to Virginia and only had what would fit into my car (my car's pretty small too). But all my stuff is back in California after my month long road trip.
Well, I'm glad to get home and then flying to Tennessee before orientation to see Nathan. I eat quite plainly out here. I wonder if I've lost weight since I don't really eat that much out here besides rice and noodles with seaweed. God, watch over the planes! I'll be taking quite a few in the next few weeks! (Of course, that's quite normal for me, but watch out all the same. Thanks!)
- run for life
All my stuff is packed for the year in Tucson back home. I'll be carrying my carry on suitcase, guitar, backpack, laptop and pillow. My laptop will fit into my carry on because it can zip out an extra 2 inches which fits it perfectly. So basically I can carry everything I'm bringing with me for the year. Kind of like when I went to Virginia and only had what would fit into my car (my car's pretty small too). But all my stuff is back in California after my month long road trip.
Well, I'm glad to get home and then flying to Tennessee before orientation to see Nathan. I eat quite plainly out here. I wonder if I've lost weight since I don't really eat that much out here besides rice and noodles with seaweed. God, watch over the planes! I'll be taking quite a few in the next few weeks! (Of course, that's quite normal for me, but watch out all the same. Thanks!)
- run for life
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