don’t build your house on the sandy land

Remember that song? When we were kids we would sing it:

“Don’t build your house on the sandy land
Don’t build it too near the shore
Oh it might be kind of nice
But you’ll have to do it twice
And you’ll have to build your house once more
You better build your house upon the rock
And put a sure foundation on the solid spot
And though the storms may come and go
Peace of God you’ll know.”

How is it then; that I can remember something as a child and know it in my heart but forget so quickly when the world comes at me 100mph?

This foundation, my Rock, is my Redeemer. Some of the verses I quote to myself to fight against Satan’s attacks are ‘The Rock, His works are perfect, and all His ways are just. A faithful God, without deceit, just and upright is He.’ Deut 32:4. 'I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You.' Psalm 119:11. 'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.' Psalm 37:4. 'See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.' Colossians 2:8. It is vital as a Christian to be grounded in Truth and be prepared against these attacks, because they WILL come! The Word is our sword! What can a warrior do without his sword in battle!? He becomes helpless and must rely on his own strength in hand to hand combat. How far would one get with no weapon in a battle, much less a war?

I need to turn to the Word, no matter how much I think I know about God, or how long I’ve been a Christian or if I think I know all the answers. I grew up in the church and can recite verses and know all the “Sunday school” answers. However, every time I open the Bible, I discover something new. Every time I read through the pages, God is speaking to me through His Word. ‘Indeed, the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two edged sword, piercing until it divides soul from spirit, joints from marrow; it is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.’ Hebrews 4:12

I am guilty of neglecting my devotional time in the morning, thinking about the massive list of obligations I have for the day and forgetting to put Jesus first, to think of Him and keep Him as my focus throughout the day. I am not perfect. None of us is, there was one Perfect Man in all of the world and that was Christ. I need others to build me up and remind me where my strength comes from. It doesn’t come from man. It comes from God. That may manifest itself in a variety of ways including a friend’s comfort or words of wisdom. However, it is when we take our focus off God that we can become confused or things can become convoluted. ‘Do not deceive yourself. If you think you are wise in this age, you should become fools so that you may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, ‘He catches the wise in their craftiness, and again the Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.’ So let none boast about human leaders. For all things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future – all belong to yours, and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God.’ 1 Corinthians 3:18-23

I find it quite interesting that I keep coming to the same conclusion: that I need to dig into the Word daily and how quickly I forget. I need to keep my priorities straight. Jesus first means learning more about Him and listening for His Word… AND reading His Word because that’s one of the ways He communicates with us.

All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that everyone who belongs to God may be proficient, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Press on toward the goal and keep your eyes on Him. Throw off everything that hinders you! All your other obligations and thoughts and see what God has to say, He will take care of us today, tomorrow and the day after that.

- Run for life

we must all think for ourselves

I remember sitting in school learning about "groupthink" and watching the Challenger space shuttle explode and people stand by and watch as atrocious events unfolded. People fall into "groupthink" which is a second potential negative consequence of group cohesion. According to the Wikipedia definition, it is a type of thought within a deeply cohesive in-group whose members try to minimize conflict and reach a consensus without critically testing, analyzing and evaluating ideas. Irving Janis concluded that it was the reason concluded the American Foreign policy committees failed to anticipate Pearl Harbor did so.

When we took our bike safety class, our instructor, Matt reminded us that we must “all think for ourselves” and used the movie “The Life of Brian” as an example, when Brian was mistaken for Jesus and he threw open the window and all the people were waiting for him to teach them something… and he said, “you must all think for yourselves” and they all chanted back in unison “we must all think for ourselves.” When riding, it is important to watch the road yourself and think for yourself because you are the one in control of it. If one person in your group rides across a busy intersection, all the members of the group must stop and assess the situation prior to crossing. It could be disastrous if everyone just blindly followed the leader.

With that being said, I think that I must think for myself in all aspects of my life. I was brought up in an Asian family (obviously) and if you didn’t know, Asian families are typically community families. The good of the family name and the good of the family should be thought of first rather than what is best for the individual. Despite my “American-ness” of seeming more independent, I believe that this mindset has carried over in other parts of my life. It’s not a bad thing, to think of other people before you think of yourself. In fact, it’s what I learned in Sunday school and through church events: in order to have joy you must live with “J.O.Y.” This means putting Jesus first, then others and finally yourself. My favorite book of the Bible is Philippians 2, the verse I constantly remember is ‘Make my joy complete, do nothing out of selfish ambitious or vain conceit and regard others as better than yourself’ – Philippians 2:4.

What is best for a group isn’t always what’s best for me. Sometimes I have to think for myself and put my own well being first. This sounds wrong to me, but I am slowly learning that this is actually more beneficial to others because when I take care of myself and do what’s best for myself, I can better help those around me and be a brighter light for Christ. I feel like this is something I should have learned from various speakers at Westminster Woods telling me that as I “pour and pour out” my love to others, I need to go back to the Word and be refilled by God (which I do). It’s harder to put into practice than it sounds for me, but I think that God has given me the courage to do so.

Press onward and trust in Him. He is my Rock. He is my Guide. He is my Creator. I feel free. A great weight has been lifted off me. I feel like dancing.

- - - run for life

in the darkness

Up before the sun, walking out the side door of the house I look out into the darkness. Almost every day I've gotten up before the sun and go to sleep late into the night. These past two weeks were no exception.

I know God didn't say life would be fair, but sometimes I wonder why certain things happen. When I think about those who loose loved ones, those with no home and those who are hungry, tears begin to well up in my eyes and I am no longer in control. I feel powerless. No matter how many people I try to help or feed, I feel like there are hundreds and thousands more just like them. I see Carl, an African American man who sleeps by one of the drinking fountains near the overpass on the bike way almost daily. I say "good morning Carl!" in the mornings and sometimes bring him a snack on my way home. For those who've lost the ones they love, I have no answers. I could say tons of cliche phrases or words, but I know only time and God can help to console them.

San Bruno's fires engulfed a neighborhood, one of those houses belonged to a friend. I can't imagine the pain she and her mother are going through right now. Her father, brother and grandmother are suddenly gone. I have only been able to pray as the tears run down my face. Tragedy. That's what they call it. The definition of "tragedy" is "a shocking or sad event; disaster." To put a label on it seems so cruel. Words cannot even begin to describe how people who were affected are feeling. Even those far away who knew people involved in this shocking event are affected.

How can one recover? What does recover even mean in circumstances such as this? To continue on and function "normally" in society? I feel like the appropriate "normal" response is to run and wail. To weep. I think Jesus is weeping with us all. Why do things like this happen to anyone? So many questions flit through my mind and words fail me. All I can do is pray and ask for God to be with everyone who doesn't deserve their world to be crumbling beneath them. For those that feel like they can barely stand on their own. I hope Lord, that You will provide consolation and comfort. That You will be their Rock that they can stand upon when they don't feel like they can do it on their own. That You will be their Saving Grace.

God, I pray.

- run for life

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

[This is my favorite picture I've taken so far of the sun rising over the horizon. I ran up Tumamoc and watched it come up. Even in a world filled with pain and suffering, there is still beauty in God's creation.]

Jillwork time...

I attempted to go to the Tucson Church of God, but there was no information online about the times... so I rode over and got there at 9AM in case it started then. It didn't begin until 10:30AM, there was an evening worship session at 6PM also.

I rode down Mountain Road and asked some guys walking how to get to the base of the Santa Catalinas. I ended up rolling up N 1st Avenue and saw a sign that said the Pima Canyon Trailhead was 1.5 miles down the road. I rode on.

I reached the trailhead and turned around so I could make it back to church on time. It was a lot quicker back down the street because it was all downhill. It was a great morning, not too hot and although I was dripping with sweat from the ride, the dry air quickly dried my back and face before I got to church. (I ended up riding 3.3 miles to church and then another 6 miles to the trailhead... so total this morning I was at 18.6 miles round trip.)

I think God knew that I needed some nature time by myself. I feel like we're always around people at work, home, meeting new people and talking to people... I always thought I was extroverted, but I think I was able to get a lot of introvert time when I was home doing my homework and be extroverted when I was out. (I did a lot of homework over the past 23 years of school so I had a lot of time to myself over the years!) Perhaps that's it. Now with no homework, the only time I'm actually alone is when I run by myself in the morning or ride around doing errands alone. Even when I'm "alone" in my room, I can still hear people in the living room just around the corner. I think I'm going to need to work more "introvert" or "me" time into my days... maybe I'll call it "Jillwork" time instead of homework... ha ha.

The church service was cute, there were probably 30 people in attendance and all were sober because the pastor and his wife had another calling taking them to Tampa, Florida. I was disappointed the pastor was leaving because I enjoyed the service. I felt like they were very centered on Christ which is the most important thing I look for in a church. I just felt a little out of place because there was no one my age present. I'm going to try a few more churches out before I make a final decision. They even have a Sovereign Grace church here that's about 9 miles away. I might go check that out too.

In any case, I was able to get a good ride in, do day 8 of P90x and talk to Nathan (skype/phone). We discussed my experience at church and talked about other options that were available. Next weekend I'll be going to Park West so I won't be able to try out another Tucson church. I'm praying God will match me up with a church that fits for both of us. Where I can help out there and contribute and be fed spiritually throughout my time here in Arizona.

See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of universe, and not according to Christ. Colossians 2:8

- run for life

p.s. Happy birthday Amanda!

think for yourself

Today we went to Borderlinks and discussed immigration and citizenship. It was an interesting conversation. As the only "minority" I was disgusted by the portrayal of my "people." Even though I was born in Oakland, California and don't even speak Chinese, because I don't look white, people constantly ask me where I'm from or try to "politely" ask what nationality I am... I'm American. My ethnic background is Chinese. I don't know the language and get flack from other Chinese people because I don't understand. I get hit on by all sides because I don't look the same as the majority in America... and I don't act or speak the same language of those who are Chinese Americans or Chinese.

I think it's difficult to understand the hatred or the hurt people put on you (sometimes because of ignorance and not even on purpose) if you haven't ever experienced small children looking at you, pulling their eyes into slits and sticking out their tongues... my eyes don't even look like that. Being called names or "yellow" ... my skin isn't yellow. One small example I didn't mention the other night... when I was pushing Asian pears at the Farmer's Market one guy asked me what I called them... I said, "I call them Asian pears." I think he wanted me to say something different or maybe thought I knew some secret name because I was Asian... but I don't. Sorry to let you all down.

I am as American as the next person who isn't a true Native American. I'm just as American as the French, the Irish, the Germans, the English and everyone else from Europe. My grandfather was born in Walnut Creek, California. Both he and my father served in the United States military. My family came here a long ago just like the people who look what people today consider "American," which is white Angelo Saxon. It's a ridiculous idea because all of those people themselves immigrated here and imposed their rules, laws and regulations on everyone else. Because they had more guns and diseases that wiped out the Native Americans, they were able to write the history books and push their ways on everyone else and be able to make fun of everyone who didn't look like them and characterize them as heathens and barbarians. It makes me sick.

We allow people to immigrate into our country only if they appear to be some one who will help our venture to be the biggest, best and most powerful country. Millionaires, sports figures, super geniuses are pushed through quickly in the immigration process. We take the best from other countries, only those we believe will make us better. Is that what Christians should do? What did ever happen to the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness? What happened to "give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free"?

How free is this country? The Emancipation Proclamation didn't happen until 1863. We had slavery in this country less than 150 years ago. When people apply for jobs, it isn't fair. Personal bias is always a factor. Who is welcome here? Remember the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1883? It wasn't lifted until 1943 when it was repealed. That was just 67 years ago! Obviously those who are oppressed in their country or starving and cannot help themselves aren't welcome. Not those who don't appear to look European (ironic isn't it? Weren't the pilgrims trying to get away from oppression in Europe in the first place? My how the tables have turned). Even people who were born here aren't welcome if they don't look like they "belong."

I think one of the major problems is people believing everything they hear. The media has such a monumental effect on the way people think. "Drug lords are the only ones trying to infiltrate the border!" "They're going to steal our jobs!" When was the last time you heard someone shout, "Get out of here! I want to clean up after everyone else, clean dishes and pick produce out in fields all day!" There are thousands unemployed with college educations because those jobs are "beneath them." If we believe these jobs are "beneath us," yet complain that "illegal" immigrants need to back to their home countries... who's going to do them? I wonder what our economy would look like if the people who are pro deportation got what they wanted. Big businesses thrive on people who are in need. Our country uses people for what we need to make us "bigger and better" and then leaves them in the dust... because they don't look like us.

Don't listen to me or take my word for it. Look up things yourself, read various versions of history and the news. Don't just follow one source of the news; things are always skewed, just look at our history books. They're taking Jesus out of them now a days. We can't even say the pledge of allegiance in school anymore (we stopped that in California when I was in elementary school) and they're trying to take "In God we trust" off the dollar. We're so politically correct in some cases and horribly irrational in others.

Formulate your own opinions and ideas... but remember to think about things from more than one point of view. Perhaps I'm blessed because I was born in the United States and also treated as an "outsider" so I know what it's like to be treated poorly just because of what I look like even though I have the correct forms and papers. We're so hypocritical. I am myself, I can admit it. I try my best not to stereotype or judge others. I do have an instinctual reaction, but I still try to give people the benefit of the doubt regardless of what they look like or who they are hanging out with. Just because someone's a little disheveled or doesn't look like me doesn't mean I shouldn't treat them like a human being.

I'm not saying you need to completely change the way you think or need to think just like me. In fact, I am doing the opposite. I am encouraging everyone to think about things from a different perspective and not to take things the media says at face value. Read more than just the headline. If you want to get all "Biblical"... we're all immigrants, all aliens. This is not our home. We're just visiting earth temporarily, we will be home when we get to heaven. Unless you're "Native American," your family immigrated here from somewhere else. Not even centuries ago people! If Columbus "discovered" America in 1492... that was only 518 years ago! That was barely over half a century and we're acting like we own the place? (I say "we," even though I'm not part of the majority because I am just as American as the next person.)

I'll get off my soap box. I hope this post made you think. Even if you now think I'm completely bonkers, that's fine. Just think for yourself and don't let the media tell you what to think.

"Walk a mile in another person's shoes." Or to be even more cliche, think about "what would Jesus do?" or "what would Jesus say?" before you speak or act.

- run for life

p.s. Happy Birthday Mom!

p.p.s. On a completely different topic, I got my bicycle helmet and my lock (the ones I got free because I took the bicycle safety class). I was pretty excited. I even took a picture...

food

This morning we got up before 6AM and headed to the Cross Street Ministries at Southside Presbyterian Church. We made sandwiches and I served up beef that had been made into taco meat in tacos. Everyone was so polite and it was very orderly. It was a pleasure to help out and to think that the process has become so refined after so many years. I am so glad that there are people who take the time and effort to help others.

Afterward Meredith, Ali and I headed to the food bank and picked up some staple items like pasta, produce, crackers and they had brie! So I was very excited! (It's my favorite cheese.) We did so well, getting there and back from Southside (usually we leave from home so that's generally my base location I know directions from) with everything loading our bikes down. It was good times, food always makes people happy and this was no exception.

Nathan and I watched America's Got Talent (week 15) together and went through day 5 of The Purpose Driven Life. Soon we Tucson YAVs will be headed off to community dinner at Sitting Tree and heading to listen to a free poetry reading. All together it's made for a great day. :)

- run for life

looking up

As I was running this morning, the mountains loomed off in the distance. There were many challenges ahead mentally, physically and spiritually. I looked up at the bright blue sky and glanced over my shoulder. More ominous mountains appeared behind me. The only place I could look to that didn't have these giant hurdles was up. Looking up at God and focusing on Him through all of our challenges and trials makes this much easier. He will help us through our struggles even when we feel most alone. It's difficult to be the only one who feels one way about something. I remember in middle school when our speaker at Buccaneer camp (at Westminster Woods church camp) told us that you + God = a majority... but what if there are 5 other people? Does God count as 5 + me to equal 6? God please help me to cling to You no matter what. Help me to focus on You and doing Your will. I need Your help to do that.
God gives us friends and family to get through the muck and struggles together. To climb the mountains with one another side by side. We're not alone. Even when we feel alone or are physically not in contact with other people, He is still there. His presence is overwhelming at times, I can't describe it. I thank God for the strength to speak up for myself. I thank God for giving others the ears to listen. Please help me God, I'm sure I will have many more mountains to climb. I know I can make it if I just keep my eyes on the prize and keep looking up to You. Some times that's just what we have to do. Throw off everything that hinders and run the race set before us.
Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the goal; but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us then who are mature be of the same mind; and if you think differently about anything, this too God will reveal to you. Only hold fast to what we have attained. Philippians 3:12-16

- run for life
p.s. Worked the Santa Cruz Farmer's Market today. It was fun, live music right behind me and I got to push Asian pears (I made a handout about them earlier today). I wonder if Asian pear sales went up today since I was handing out samples. Well, here's the photo of the day!

planting

Today I was picked up and brought to the farm 30 miles north of where I live. It was a beautiful day, the sky was slightly overcast making it perfect weather for working outdoors. I was excited. Often seed planting metaphors are used for spreading God's word and I saw the weeds choking some of the watermelon, the seeds picked up by birds (actually there was a rattle snake in the watermelon plants), the seeds scorched by the sun (I didn't see them, but I'm sure they exist out in the desert), and the ones that fell in good soil.

I hope to plant seeds this year. I hope to harvest once they grow. I know that it's easier to reap a harvest of actual plants, those are the ones I'm referring to in this case, but I also hope to spread His word and be a light to those around me.

Here are some pictures from this morning:
- run for life

early in the morning

This morning I got up and ran up Tumamoc Hill, there were so many people hiking it this morning. I was encouraged by the friendliness of those joining me in a morning bout of exercise. As I passed people walking, some of them cheered me on. It almost felt like I was running a race. I made it to the top! Afterward I ran back to the house and did the next day of my P90x workouts and read day 2 of The Purpose Driven Life with Nathan. Then we headed out to the lunch with our site placement supervisors. It was great getting to hear more about all of the places my fellow YAVs are going to. I feel like we can use the example of the strangers cheering me on up the hill. We can cheer each other on and support one another as we work throughout the year and carry on to the finish. When that day comes I hope to go on to the next adventure being able to say:

As for me, I am already being poured out as a libation, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. - 2 Timothy 4:6-7

- run for life

settling in

Saturday, September 4:
I got up early in the morning even though we went to bed late Friday after hiking Tumamoc Hill (we saw 2 snakes, spiders, a deer, beetles, and it over looks the city at night so it was beautiful, I just wish my camera could take better night pictures). Ran a few miles and headed out for part 2 of the bike safety class. As you might have noticed, I passed the test! ha, ha. I missed one question, the test was pretty basic. Afterward I tried more bikes at Ordinary, but they were all the wrong size. I was disappointed. I got home and took a glorious 3.5 hour nap and woke up to the smell of food cooking with yummy garlic and basil thanks to my new "insta-friends"/housemates. We had a conversation that was borderline hilarious... probably because we were all a little delirious from lack of sleep. Either way, it was good times.


Sunday, September 5:
This statue is found at the entrance of Southside Presbyterian Church in Tucson, Arizona. It is of a migrant woman holding her child, a machete and hat laying by her feet. People go without homes, food, and clothing. It's a tragedy that when God made enough in the world for all of His children... that hundreds and thousands of them go without basic necessities. Humans by nature are selfish and this is one of the effects that is visible. Just walking down the streets in a city, you can see people sleeping on benches, in the alcoves of stores and walking down the street with all of their belongs because they don't have a place to keep them. If you look at the classes in our social economy you'll see three: lower, middle and upper class. The ways the three view food is vastly different, partially because of their available resources, but also in part due to the city planning and society. Lower class views food in quantity, not always knowing where the next meal is coming and having a lack of money for nutrient dense food and sometimes not having the education behind them to know what they should eat. Also, there may only be small convenience stores, gas stations and no grocery stores present. Middle class most likely will attempt to have quality food, trying to utilize the education they have to eat fruits, vegetables and whole grains purchased from grocery stores, large super markets and wholesale stores like Costco. Upper class will go for presentation, they will also most likely have both of what lower and middle class has: a high quantity of quality food. The disparity in the world is an interesting topic and often I'm baffled. Many of those who are upper or middle class scoff and ridicule those of lower class because all though they may have a high quality education, they don't understand ALL of the benefits they are afforded by being in their income bracket, living in their community or educational background. Ignorance calls out to those who are overweight and obese and tells them just to eat less or eat healthier. "Why don't they just exercise?" some say. Maybe working 2 full time jobs and taking care of kids doesn't give you time to exercise, perhaps the grocery store an hour bus ride away is too far when you don't have a car. I wonder if people really see the people they are ridiculing or if they just judge before they even know them, sometimes they purposely stay away and don't even want to get to know them. Someone who appears to be "well nourished" (overweight or obese) may not necessarily be someone who receives all of the nutrients they need. Calories doesn't mean all of the vitamins and minerals necessary for life are included in the diet... I'll get off my soap box, because I know I could go on for ages about food and why we need to stop a moment and be thankful for what we have. We all should (myself included) re-examine ourselves and really look at those around us and see if we can help someone, even if it's just one person, you can make their day. (After church we went to Pico de Gallo to have lunch and meet Gene who is one of the leaders for No More Deaths/No Mas Muertes. It was interesting to leave more about the program and more opportunities to help others.)

Monday, September 6:
Today was great! It was our first full day-off since we began August 23 with orientation in New York. I woke up at 6AM and talked to Nathan... and then promptly took a 2 hour nap from 8-10AM. I didn't think the day would be very eventful, I was just going to try to catch up on everything I wanted to get done including blogging (which unfortunately I finished this blog a few hours ago but it didn't post and was lost so I had to start over :( but I think this second version is better anyway). I feel like I'm actually starting to get settled in, I got my library card yesterday and know how to get around the city by myself. Today I also had a surprise... I got my first mail! A bouquet of rose was waiting outside my bedroom door when I woke up from my nap and was on skype with Nathan again. He had a silly smile on his face, I knew he was proud of himself. I was so excited, I've never gotten flowers in the mail/delivered before! I love mail! I am still smiling when I think about it and now I have a beautiful bouquet to smell at the side of my bed. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I caught up on America's got Talent (a show Nathan and I started watching together this season), hung the laundry out to dry and updated various blogs and posted pictures on facebook... I still need to workout today so I am gonna jump on that train and leave you all with this:
That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God. - 1 Corinthians 2:5

- run for life

arrival

I have been in Tucson, Arizona for 3 days, 21 hours, and 16 minutes! We stayed at Brandon's the first night (he lives at a community house called Sitting Tree) and moved into our house the next morning. We have 4 bedrooms and 2 baths. Stevie and I are sharing a room in the front, the boys are sharing another and Alison and Meredith are in the back next to our guestroom. (Yes, we have a guestroom, complete with queen sized bed and everything!) We should get our bikes today, but we've been able to use old YAV bikes (we want to have some bikes for visitors when they come too) and a few of the bikes from the community house.

I love biking! It's quite warm, but the dry heat is awesome. I am definitely a dry heat person if it's going to be hot. Humidity is torturous. Strangely enough, I have a runny nose and sneeze often... I thought people moved TO Arizona to get rid of their allergies. It seems that I have moved to Arizona and GOT more allergies... so far I haven't been having too many pressure headaches, but it definitely hasn't been easy coughing and sneezing all the time.
We've done a lot of 'orienting' and getting to know one another. Sometimes it reminds me of the Real World, just a Tucson version. (Honestly, I've never actually seen the show, I have just heard about it.) Throw strangers into a house and then see how they interact with one another... ha ha. Our intentions are vastly contrast those of MTv though.
I feel like we’ve done so much and I could write for hours and hours… but I don’t have hours and hours to write. So, since they tell me a picture is worth a thousand words, I’ll include a “picture of the day” for each day I’ve been in Arizona (and am hoping to continue this trend for the duration of my time here) and included a short story about it.

When we arrived on August 30 (Monday) we flew in and the sunset was gorgeous. It was pretty much the most awesome display of God's beauty and wonder that happens every day! I LOVE sunsets! (And sunrises for that matter.) The red sun was dropping low over the mountains (which I learned the names of the mountain ranges that surround Tucson: the Tucson mountains are to the west, Rincon to the east, Santa Catalina to the north and the Santa Rita are to the south. Mount Lemmon where I'll be running my Arizona Marathon is to the north in the Santa Catalina mountains, this will also be Nathan's first marathon).



Tuesday, August 31: Since we stayed at Brandon's community's house, we hadn't seen our house. We moved furniture and "moved in" officially to our house. If you'd like the address, let me know. I love mail! :) We set off to the bike shop at Ordinary Bikes and looked for bikes there. This is one of the old school bikes they can't sell (I did ask!), but looks cool right? I picked a hybrid bike since the road seemed so uneven, I wanted to be more comfortable than I would normally be on a road bike bumping over bumps 8 miles to work every day. I also wanted to roll around the mountains surrounding Tucson as often as possible and a commuter bike wouldn't allow for that since it only has three gears. The bike I chose was also a tad bit based on color... since I love blue. I'll put a picture up later when I get it! I'm excited! We should be getting them in about 2 hours!

Fast forward to Wednesday (September 1). So, I am thinking I'm good to go. Not only could I handle this dry heat, I thought cacti were quite unique and sweet looking I love riding my bike. Yes, I can admit that I was a little prideful. Maybe God was teaching me a lesson, haha. We all went to various banks to deposit our first stipend. I was excited because, unlike Virginia (the closest WaMu when I got there was in New Jersey or Philly and that didn't change when they got bought), Arizona has Chase banks. There was one across the street from the Arizona State Bank, a smaller, more local bank. I deposited my stipend and took out some money for food. Then I rolled over to the local bank where 4 others were opening accounts (Stevie, Meredith, Luke and Jacob - Ali has Bank of America/BofA so she went there). I was talking on the phone and trying to hold that, lift my bike over the rack and walk around it all at the same time and BAM! I stumbled into a sharp cactus. I recoiled instantly and looked down. I had puncture wounds in three places on my leg and deep, red blood began to trickle down my leg all the way to my ankle.

Thursday, September 2: We did a lot of flushing out what community means to each of us yesterday. We had a small break and then went to Farmer's Market! I was so excited, it was smaller than I expected since I'm used to the huge Farmer's in California that are also year round, but I was delighted nonetheless. I'm really looking forward to getting to know more farmers and local growers this year. I want to help out at Farmer's as often as I can and work on farms... as well as provide nutrition education to children and adults. I can't wait to start work on Wednesday.

Today: Friday, September 3 -What a BEAUTIFUL sunrise. I got up around 5:30AM and went running (I ran Thursday morning as well). I want to make it to the Tucson Mountains and back... which is about 5-6 miles out. Today I made it about 3.5-4 miles out and back. I turned around and looked out to the east, where the sun was peeking over the Rincon mountain range. It was a breath taking sight. The picture definitely does not do it justice. My phone camera is nice to have, but doesn't have enough megapixels to capture the essence of what was really there. We had some more talks about community and our family covenant and need to do some more refinement, but I really appreciated that everyone really listened to what each other had to say. Sometimes referred to as "insta-friends" (... just add sun and water!), one might not always expect those they are forced to live with to be respectful of each other, but I think we have been doing a great job attempting to really listen to each other and respect one another. We are on a short break now, so I am going to try to squeeze in some P90x before we go to get our bikes!

More to come in days to follow... Thanks for the prayers, I still need them and will continue to need them throughout the year and life! God is good, I am praying for the next few days and for all of the people we will come in contact with.

- run for life
P.S. totally forgot to include my picture I drew of the scene I witnessed while running for the first time in Tucson:
I suppose I should include a little description. Basically I was running down N 4th Avenue toward a park and saw a police car driving across the grass... I wasn't sure what was going on until I saw a man running across the street and two cops chasing him. The man clambered loudly over a fence and one of the cops pursued. The second stayed on our side of the fence. This was all over 20 yards away mind you and I continued running down the street toward the house. A few other runners turned their heads to witness the escapade and it appeared to be a generally otherwise safe area because I saw a few women walking by themselves with ear buds in and everything. Later I mentioned this to Brandon and he said there was a lot of petty crime, but nothing really dangerous. Still, I thought it was an interesting sight for my first run in Tucson...

hopes and fears...

I know, you should call me butter baby, 'cause I'm on a roll! This is my second blog of the day... I felt I should write down my hopes and fears as a record before I set foot into Arizona so that I can look back when I'm done with the year and praise God for all of the prayers He answered.

I hope (and pray)...

- I will have accountability.
- the sun will not burn my skin! I am excited for the dry heat rather than humidity I've been in for the past three years while living in Virginia. I pray that I stay hydrated and take joy in the weather that Arizona experiences
- I will be able to speak Spanish and become more proficient, I want to communicate with everyone I am surrounded by
– I will be good with my dinero. Hopefully it won’t be too difficult since I’ve been a “college student” for so long and had to be tight with my budget to remain so.
- I will get to experience living among the people I am working with
- I will focus on my Creator through every situation and trial I may face
- That our community will grow together through good times and bad and that. That I will grow myself in my faith and life as a Christian.
- I will stay healthy, I’m advocating for no more sickness!
- I will be able to invest in the community of Tucson and provide some assistance with their food attainability and nutrition knowledge
- I will be “Jill.” I will be the person God created me to be and no one else. That I will strive to be more like Jesus every day.
– I will knock on Christ’s door when I need help. That prayer will be the first thing I do.
– Live simply, however I interpret that now and interpret that when I’m finished. One of my quotes I made up long ago was based on Hebrews 12:1-2: Live simply, Live fully. Live for Him, Live like Jesus. Run for life. I intend to keep living by my motto.
– I will live in each moment. I will be joyful , sorrowful, happy, sad, and everything in between. I want to be.
– Nathan and I will be able to maintain our relationship and grow together toward God and toward each other even though we are thousands of miles apart.
– My eyes and my heart will be opened to the injustice and social inequality in the world and that I will find what God wants me to do about it. That I will be able to help His people through the gifts God has given me.
– People and relationships will always be a priority. I love building relationships and creating new ones. I don’t think it’s possible to know too many people or have “too many friends.” I try my hardest to be a good friend to all of my friends and will continue to do so with all of the new people I meet. I will also continue to be the best friend I can be to those who are back home.
– I will be able to be quiet! I know I sometimes talk too much, sometimes I need to listen! I need to listen to others cries around me and the whisper of God. Being in a relationship and being so far from Nathan has helped with that.
- I will be able to rest and really rest! I need to rest in the moment, not think about what else I am doing tomorrow or next week. I've always been a "go, go, go" person as my dad says. During undergraduate school I worked sometimes over 40 hours a week and took as many as 22 units in one quarter at the same time. During grad school, I made it to every major league baseball stadium, a slew of weddings including my sister's, marathons in more states... all while working a full time job.
- I will get back into running shape, completing my marathons with gusto rather than a sigh of relief (okay, so after 26.2 miles, even if I was in shape, I'd probably be relieved) and wince of pain (or doubling over in pain as I have since I haven't trained for the last 17)
- Tucson will be in the prayers of all my family and friends. That even those who don’t know me or where Tucson is, that they will support me in prayer as well. Even those that have stumbled upon this blog randomly or through a friend. Thank you for your prayers!
– We will be unified one day as the body of Christ. There are other religious-based volunteer groups that will be present in Tucson (Lutheran, Jesuit, etc) and I pray that we will all join together and work together to further His kingdom.
– I will be able to discern more about my vocation for the future. I know I don’t like hospitals. I like sports nutrition, working with athletes and working with people of the community who want to learn more about wellness… but what does that look like as far as a future career for me? (Oh, If you have any lead or insight especially for registered dietitians, let me know.)
– I will be welcoming of everyone regardless of their age, sex, gender, race, religion, etc. I want to love everyone as Christ loves them. To put aside the stereotypes and precognitions that I have. I always try to do this, but I pray that this is amplified this year as I serve on a mission team.
- I had to look up and “x” word… but I think I found a good one that describes me: “xenophile.” According to the free dictionary online it means: “a person attracted to that which is foreign, especially to foreign peoples, manners, or cultures.” I love the unknown, this makes me attracted to other cultures, people, food, and everything that encompasses. I pray that God continues that fire within me and uses it to His glory.
– I will not only think about those around me, but also spend time with myself, alone. I am a complete extrovert. I always score all “E” and no “I” when I take the Myers-Briggs personality test (E = extrovert and I = introvert for those who haven't taken it yet). I remember when we were a kid, they said “in order to have JOY we must put Jesus first, Others next, and then You last.” I tend to forget about myself and always say “yes” to everyone and want to help everyone… sometimes… saying “no” is saying “yes.”
– I pray I will be zealous. That I will be filled with joy and enthusiasm for what God has called me to this year. That I will walk the walk and talk the talk. That Christ will live in me and everyone will know it.

I know there will be hard times. I know there will be good times. If you didn’t notice (hopefully you at least noticed by the time you hit the word “xenophile” and the fact that I said I had to look up at “x” word… that I made my list of prayers and hopes into an alphabetized list- if you scroll up, the words that are larger or bold in each line are in alphabetical order). If you want to pray for a different thing every day of the month (perhaps taking Saturday or Sunday off since there are only 26 and not 30)… now you have a list of things I need prayer for! I didn’t write a list of “fears” because I put all of those fears I may have into positive statements for prayer instead of negative ones.

I am excited to see what God has in store in this next season, the next chapter of the life of Jill. Keep running friends and throw off everything that hinders you. Keep your eyes on Him.

- run for life

commissioning

Buzz, buzz... my roommate's alarm was going off. I squinted at my watch through the darkness, it wasn't 8AM yet. I rolled over and clutched my stomach, it was still cramping, and sharp pains were shooting through it... I think from being sick. I wonder when or if I'll ever find out what's ailing me. I lay there in my bed with white sheets and a scratchy blanket staring at the whiteness of the ceiling. I didn't know how much time had passed before there was a knock at the door; my roommate's friend was coming to get her so they could work on what they were going to say at the church they were going to. It was now 8:30, so I got up, changed and poured some Cheerios out of the Kashi Heart to Heart bottle into my bowl, half hoping there would be some actual Kashi Heart to Heart cereal in it) along with some soy milk and a banana. Jacob, Alison and I had planned a little of what we would talk about at the church we were going to last night, I joined them at the breakfast table.

Nine o'clock rolled around and we moved to the lobby of Stony Point Center and met with Dr. Lori, the pastor of New Hempstead Presbyterian Church. We all hopped in the car and set off toward our destination. We had some time to chill out before the service. It seemed like no time had passed before the organ began and the service had started. We were in fact the message for the day. Jacob talked about passion and told his story of how he became a YAV, Alison shared about how much God loves us and that is conquers all, regardless of what tragedy may strike. I talked about being a witness and a missionary where you are and how necessary that was. I always wanted to go international, to go to the ends of the earth and reach the remote places most of my family and friends hadn't even heard of. It was nice to hear the other's stories because I hadn't heard them yet. I know we'll get to know each other over the year we're together, but we hadn't really gotten to know each other yet.

We were greeted so warmly by all of the members who were so joyful. They were a diverse congregation, but all smiling and glad to see us. It was reassuring that this is indeed what God wants me to do for the year. I had been having second thoughts after I was so certain back when I heard about Arizona and thought about national sites as an option. I knew God was calling me to the desert, I just needed to go and do it, it's difficult for me to wait once I determine God is calling me to do something. I generally just leap if I want to go cliff jumping, skydiving or some other extreme form of entertainment. I'm always the one who jumps off the bridge first to "test" it to make sure it's safe for everyone else. I guess you could say I'm a little bit of a trail blazer. Hopefully this carries over into other aspects of my life, including sharing the Gospel to those who I have been called to live among.

We were commissioned by a church that had never met us until that morning. They didn't know us from a random person on the street, but they were there for us because they knew we were a part of their family, their church family, the body of Christ. It was touching.

Tomorrow we'll depart Stony Point and go out to our respective destinations for the year. I am praying. I am thankful for all of the prayers and support we've gotten from those back home, here, and around the world. From people who don't even know us, those who love God and trust that God has called us to be a part of His work down in Arizona. I'm excited. I'm also exhausted from being sick and trying to stay awake for so many sessions and discussions... so now it's time to nap!

- run for life

a physical challenge

Wow. I’m sick. I don’t remember the last time I was sick, I think it was perhaps 2008 in Virginia. Other than that, I’ve just had problems with allergies out there. Swallowing hurts and my throat feels like sandpaper. I’m sure my voice sounds terrible, I feel terrible. My stomach hurts too, it feels like throwing up might make me feel better at this point. Perhaps I’ve put my body through a lot of stress this summer… from finishing my master's thesis and master's degree, quitting my job, moving everything I had across the country while running 3 marathons within a month and sleeping on friend’s couches and in guest bedrooms, flying back to Tennessee and then back to California, driving up the California coast back to the bay area, meeting up with friends as much as possible, traveling to Japan, flying back to Tennessee going camping and on to New York. I don’t really have a home right now. I feel like I’m in limbo, this place that I will be living for a year until I’m done in Arizona next August.

Ironic that one of the discussions or ‘lessons’ we had today was about ‘self care.’ Honestly, I put off sleep and things to keep myself happy and safe emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually in order to say ‘yes’ to visiting other friends and fitting more into my already packed schedule. Again and again I’m reminded I need to take care of myself before I can take care of others. I feel like I always need to be reminded of this. Having Nathan around helps with that. He reminds me to chill out when I get frustrated about something and to look at the bigger picture. I suppose this year, I will (hopefully) be able to take a good look at myself, my life and where I'm at. I am hoping to discover or re-discover my gifts and figure out how I can use those to glorify God as well as honor my parents and still be able to take care of myself or have 'good self care.' I've always been an extroverted person and I love people, so a big part of 'self care' for me includes building and maintaining relationships. We shall see how this plays out over the course of the year!

Please pray that I'll get better and be able to be fully present in what is going on around me and trust in Him.

- run for life

day one.

I just flew into Charlotte, NC from Knoxville, TN. Nathan dropped me off at the airport and as silly as it may sound, I was a little tearful that I wouldn't see him much for the next year even though we're trying to sneak in weekends here and there while I'm gone. It's strange to think we met only 6 months ago. I am constantly amazed at my life when I look back and see where God was at work carefully putting His hand out to orchestrate the small details of my life. Even when I fight or turn away, He's there. Who am I to have God pay attention to any part of my life much less the most minute details each day? It's astounding.

This airport is a lot bigger than I expected it to be considering Knoxville and Richmond airports are tiny. It took me 20 minutes to walk across the airport from terminal E to B since I was on a small express flight connecting me to a larger airport (here) and I needed to go to the main terminals to fly out to La Guardia.

I'm excited for what God has in store... He's always steered me in the right direction, even though I wanted things to turn out differently or prayed for things that would have been horrid for me had God allowed those things to happen. I hope for things still, but I pray that my will be aligned more with His. Whatever He has planned for me in my life, I know that it will be good and all things work for His glory.

This week for YAV, we have orientation to the program in Stony Point, New York. Our week will be filled with various sessions including lots of paper work for the year (probably tax papers, health insurance and the like), meals, prayer and preparing for our years as missionaries.

Next Monday, August 30, I'll make my way with 5 others to Tucson, Arizona to begin orientation there. I anticipate a year of growth and stretching... even though I have an abnormally large comfort zone compared to the average person, I know there will be things happening in my life that I will struggle with. I pray that God will help me through it all. I pray that He will keep my relationships strong back home and help to create new solid relationships with those I will be living and working with. I'm excited to meet everyone at the Tucson Community Food Bank and I hope that the work God has brought me for is as beneficial to the people I will be helping as it will be to me. I pray that He will bring me closer to Him and that my friends and family will be able to tell when I return to them when it's all over.

Here's to hoping. God give me peace and help me to be more like You. To do what You have called me to do and live in the moment. Please help me to be a light to those around me and all that I interact with. Time to pack up and board the plane. Farewell to my stint as a nomad, hello to 51 weeks as a missionary. It's a new season of life, new experiences, new people, new location. One thing will remain constant regardless of where I am or who I'm with: I'll continue to trust in Him, hanging on to His word, His promise. Fully reliant on Him.

Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord. -Psalm 31:24

- run for life

mountains

I climbed Mount Fuji yesterday with my sister. It was intense and I am quite certain both of us got altitude sickness. We accomplished everything we wanted to accomplish and were able to make it back to the bus on time too! I was pretty excited. It's Saturday morning here (16 hours ahead of PST) so I leave tomorrow (Sunday) at 4PM.

All my stuff is packed for the year in Tucson back home. I'll be carrying my carry on suitcase, guitar, backpack, laptop and pillow. My laptop will fit into my carry on because it can zip out an extra 2 inches which fits it perfectly. So basically I can carry everything I'm bringing with me for the year. Kind of like when I went to Virginia and only had what would fit into my car (my car's pretty small too). But all my stuff is back in California after my month long road trip.

Well, I'm glad to get home and then flying to Tennessee before orientation to see Nathan. I eat quite plainly out here. I wonder if I've lost weight since I don't really eat that much out here besides rice and noodles with seaweed. God, watch over the planes! I'll be taking quite a few in the next few weeks! (Of course, that's quite normal for me, but watch out all the same. Thanks!)

- run for life