hopes and fears...

I know, you should call me butter baby, 'cause I'm on a roll! This is my second blog of the day... I felt I should write down my hopes and fears as a record before I set foot into Arizona so that I can look back when I'm done with the year and praise God for all of the prayers He answered.

I hope (and pray)...

- I will have accountability.
- the sun will not burn my skin! I am excited for the dry heat rather than humidity I've been in for the past three years while living in Virginia. I pray that I stay hydrated and take joy in the weather that Arizona experiences
- I will be able to speak Spanish and become more proficient, I want to communicate with everyone I am surrounded by
– I will be good with my dinero. Hopefully it won’t be too difficult since I’ve been a “college student” for so long and had to be tight with my budget to remain so.
- I will get to experience living among the people I am working with
- I will focus on my Creator through every situation and trial I may face
- That our community will grow together through good times and bad and that. That I will grow myself in my faith and life as a Christian.
- I will stay healthy, I’m advocating for no more sickness!
- I will be able to invest in the community of Tucson and provide some assistance with their food attainability and nutrition knowledge
- I will be “Jill.” I will be the person God created me to be and no one else. That I will strive to be more like Jesus every day.
– I will knock on Christ’s door when I need help. That prayer will be the first thing I do.
– Live simply, however I interpret that now and interpret that when I’m finished. One of my quotes I made up long ago was based on Hebrews 12:1-2: Live simply, Live fully. Live for Him, Live like Jesus. Run for life. I intend to keep living by my motto.
– I will live in each moment. I will be joyful , sorrowful, happy, sad, and everything in between. I want to be.
– Nathan and I will be able to maintain our relationship and grow together toward God and toward each other even though we are thousands of miles apart.
– My eyes and my heart will be opened to the injustice and social inequality in the world and that I will find what God wants me to do about it. That I will be able to help His people through the gifts God has given me.
– People and relationships will always be a priority. I love building relationships and creating new ones. I don’t think it’s possible to know too many people or have “too many friends.” I try my hardest to be a good friend to all of my friends and will continue to do so with all of the new people I meet. I will also continue to be the best friend I can be to those who are back home.
– I will be able to be quiet! I know I sometimes talk too much, sometimes I need to listen! I need to listen to others cries around me and the whisper of God. Being in a relationship and being so far from Nathan has helped with that.
- I will be able to rest and really rest! I need to rest in the moment, not think about what else I am doing tomorrow or next week. I've always been a "go, go, go" person as my dad says. During undergraduate school I worked sometimes over 40 hours a week and took as many as 22 units in one quarter at the same time. During grad school, I made it to every major league baseball stadium, a slew of weddings including my sister's, marathons in more states... all while working a full time job.
- I will get back into running shape, completing my marathons with gusto rather than a sigh of relief (okay, so after 26.2 miles, even if I was in shape, I'd probably be relieved) and wince of pain (or doubling over in pain as I have since I haven't trained for the last 17)
- Tucson will be in the prayers of all my family and friends. That even those who don’t know me or where Tucson is, that they will support me in prayer as well. Even those that have stumbled upon this blog randomly or through a friend. Thank you for your prayers!
– We will be unified one day as the body of Christ. There are other religious-based volunteer groups that will be present in Tucson (Lutheran, Jesuit, etc) and I pray that we will all join together and work together to further His kingdom.
– I will be able to discern more about my vocation for the future. I know I don’t like hospitals. I like sports nutrition, working with athletes and working with people of the community who want to learn more about wellness… but what does that look like as far as a future career for me? (Oh, If you have any lead or insight especially for registered dietitians, let me know.)
– I will be welcoming of everyone regardless of their age, sex, gender, race, religion, etc. I want to love everyone as Christ loves them. To put aside the stereotypes and precognitions that I have. I always try to do this, but I pray that this is amplified this year as I serve on a mission team.
- I had to look up and “x” word… but I think I found a good one that describes me: “xenophile.” According to the free dictionary online it means: “a person attracted to that which is foreign, especially to foreign peoples, manners, or cultures.” I love the unknown, this makes me attracted to other cultures, people, food, and everything that encompasses. I pray that God continues that fire within me and uses it to His glory.
– I will not only think about those around me, but also spend time with myself, alone. I am a complete extrovert. I always score all “E” and no “I” when I take the Myers-Briggs personality test (E = extrovert and I = introvert for those who haven't taken it yet). I remember when we were a kid, they said “in order to have JOY we must put Jesus first, Others next, and then You last.” I tend to forget about myself and always say “yes” to everyone and want to help everyone… sometimes… saying “no” is saying “yes.”
– I pray I will be zealous. That I will be filled with joy and enthusiasm for what God has called me to this year. That I will walk the walk and talk the talk. That Christ will live in me and everyone will know it.

I know there will be hard times. I know there will be good times. If you didn’t notice (hopefully you at least noticed by the time you hit the word “xenophile” and the fact that I said I had to look up at “x” word… that I made my list of prayers and hopes into an alphabetized list- if you scroll up, the words that are larger or bold in each line are in alphabetical order). If you want to pray for a different thing every day of the month (perhaps taking Saturday or Sunday off since there are only 26 and not 30)… now you have a list of things I need prayer for! I didn’t write a list of “fears” because I put all of those fears I may have into positive statements for prayer instead of negative ones.

I am excited to see what God has in store in this next season, the next chapter of the life of Jill. Keep running friends and throw off everything that hinders you. Keep your eyes on Him.

- run for life